Non-Jews are for practice
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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