worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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