Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
