Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
