I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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