operation harelip BJ is a go
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
