..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
third nipple confirmed
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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