Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
