at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
