He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
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