Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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