i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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