Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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