drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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