So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
