If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
