dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
They took my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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