Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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