I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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