Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize