oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
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