OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
