So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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