I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
