I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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