You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
