It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
