This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize