Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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