you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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