best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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