I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
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