Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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