grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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