My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
