PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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