when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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