the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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