I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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