Where did you get a picture of my penis
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
