Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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