Banned from zoo.
Again?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
