Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
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I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
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guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.