I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
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I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
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There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.