She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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