No stitches, just platelets and will power
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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