we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
