So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I faked an abortion last night.
I looked at my own cervix.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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