god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
