his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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