im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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