Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(540): View more from Virginia

ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.

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(540): ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret. http://tfl.nu/thv3

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.

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(215): Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win. http://tfl.nu/ky57

Replies (18) Good night (3924) Bad night (552) Order T-Shirt
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(847): View more from Illinois

you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.

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(847): you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life. http://tfl.nu/71wd

Replies (25) Good night (12729) Bad night (1038)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.

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(843): I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out. http://tfl.nu/k8va

Replies (21) Good night (759) Bad night (4480) Order T-Shirt
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(845): View more from New York

You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.

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(845): You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately. http://tfl.nu/vwdv

Replies (9) Good night (5474) Bad night (910)
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(404): View more from Georgia

we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?

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(404): we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition? http://tfl.nu/nsp8

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.

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(608): He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does. http://tfl.nu/dgwh

Replies (6) Good night (1800) Bad night (341)
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(712): View more from Iowa

Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.

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(712): Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking. http://tfl.nu/ew1c

Replies (5) Good night (1222) Bad night (443) Order T-Shirt
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(503): View more from Oregon

ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.

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(503): ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help. http://tfl.nu/liab

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(559): View more from California

Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus

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(559): Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus http://tfl.nu/vfd2

Replies (4) Good night (293) Bad night (859) Order T-Shirt
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(248): View more from Michigan

He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.

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(248): He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall. http://tfl.nu/m004

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(585): View more from New York

High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.

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(585): High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation. http://tfl.nu/xkfb

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(970): View more from Colorado

I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.

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(970): I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me. http://tfl.nu/0q6n

Replies (1) Good night (763) Bad night (237) Order T-Shirt
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(303): View more from Colorado

Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.

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(303): Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way. http://tfl.nu/uitb

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(516): View more from New York

I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.

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(516): I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers. http://tfl.nu/n7z5

Replies (2) Good night (616) Bad night (504) Order T-Shirt

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