What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella