She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
