I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
