I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
