Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
either way he was missing a nipple.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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