This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize