Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
