I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
