We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
