i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
