I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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