Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
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We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
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Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I supernannyed him into submission
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize