you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
