Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
