Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize
