Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
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