I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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