Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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